by Bob Blubaugh
More than 10 million babies are born each year in the United States — roughly one every three seconds. Every minute of every day, more than a few first-time fathers are meeting their newborns, all thinking the same thing: What do I do now?
Not to worry, debuting dads. In case you’re too busy building a crib, painting a nursery or freaking out as the big day nears, I harnessed all manner of resources to compile gobs of guidance in time for Father’s Day.
Since we’re in 2026, as nervous new dads prepare for that beloved but totally helpless bundle of joy, AI seemed the logical place to start. I prompted ChatGPT, “What is the best advice for a first-time father?” While I’m fairly certain OpenAI’s ubiquitous generative chatbot has never changed a diaper, prepared a bottle or been deprived of sleep, it actually came through with a pretty good answer.
“You do not need to be perfect. You need to be present.” True enough. ChatGPT went on to list other valuable tidbits, such as “support the mother as much as the baby,” “keep calm” and, finally, “ask for help.” Of course, not every new dad wants recommendations from robots. Luckily, the internet contains information from real people ready to offer counsel.
The instructional video “Baby Tips for a New Dad, From a Dad” has more than a million views on YouTube. It focuses on pointers that papas will need right away, like how to carry your new kiddo. Viewers learn how to hold the newborn like a football — which works well for those fathers not prone to fumbling.
Seeking the collected wisdom of the World Wide Web, I searched for “best advice for new dads.” No shortage of hits. An expectant father could click away for nine months and not read it all.
High up was the Buzzfeed article, “I’m A New Dad, and Here Are the 13 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before Embarking on This Journey.” No. 6 seemed both surprising and sensible: “Keeping score is inevitable, but try not to point it out.”
Really? Fellas, trust me on this one. No matter how hard this parenting business is to you, no matter how much you’re doing, there’s a good chance mom is doing even more. Scrap the scorecard.
Ryan Holiday, billed as one of the world’s bestselling living philosophers, penned “The Daily Dad,” a book that compiles 366 meditations on parenting, love and raising great kids. This daily dose of direction for dads appears in 12 chapters with titles like “Teach By Example (The Only Method That Works)” and “Love Unconditionally (The Only Thing They Really Want).”
I turned to the meditation listed for June 21, Father’s Day this year, to find a particularly appropriate passage. Holiday writes that a dad who worries about whether he is doing a good job probably doesn’t need to worry. Chances are, he’s doing a far better job than the father who thinks he does everything right or the one who doesn’t care enough to ponder the question in the first place.
I’m a big proponent of getting advice from “experts.” As a fifty something father of two daughters, I have an overflowing Rolodex of experts. Andy Walsh, a Bel Air resident who grew up in Westminster and is the father of two adult daughters, gave philosopher Holiday a run for his money.
“Stick to values, stick to truth, stick to things that matter. You can’t go wrong,” Walsh says. “Whatever your situation is, whether you’re 21, 31, you’ve had maybe a difficult childhood or a great childhood, you’re set with money, or you’re not … it starts with who you are. What are your values? What is the most meaningful thing in life?”
Dave Branum of New Windsor, whose daughter recently graduated from high school, stressed being present without losing sight of the future. “Listen, be empathetic, but hold the line on what is expected,” he says. “Help them set realistic goals and celebrate their successes. This builds a good, sound foundation for them to become successful.”
Rick Miller, who splits time between Westminster and Littlestown, Pennsylvania, is a father of two. His son and daughter were born more than three decades apart. While he has done his child-rearing in two vastly different eras, one word came to mind in his succinct suggestion for first-time fathers.
“Patience.” That’s good advice at every stage, from diapers to dating, from the first day of school to the first job, from learning to read to learning to drive.
And Walsh would argue that a new dad needs to be patient with himself, too. “You’re gonna make mistakes. You know things are gonna be good, and things are gonna be bad. If you’re doing the best you can, that’s all you can do, and that’s perfect,” he says.
Ameet Kokatnur of Westminster has two daughters, one headed to college and one in high school. He grew up in India and can call on a wider range of experiences than most.
“Be a role model by being honest and kind, help them understand the importance of hard work and education, set clear boundaries and be consistent with rules.” Parents should help kids learn from failures but never forget to have fun along the way, he added.
Bryant Moshang of Westminster is a father of three. His oldest is nearing 30. Moshang remembers being terrified of becoming a dad, but he learned quickly that the new addition isn’t the only member of the household to focus on.
“Be present for the baby and the mother every day, especially during the first three months, which are the most stressful and exhausting,” he says. “Get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying, hold and comfort the baby, and support the mother wherever you can.
“Also, try to appreciate every moment — good and bad days — even when the baby is crying or misbehaving, because they grow up so fast. Before you know it, they are adults,” he says. Even as adults, they’re still your kids. Every experienced dad knows, you worry when they’re newborns, when they’re toddlers and teens, right into adulthood.
As Jason Robards’ character says to his son Gil, played by Steve Martin, in the movie “Parenthood”: “There is no end zone. You never cross the goal line, spike the ball and do your touchdown dance. Never.”
My own father was more a lead-by-example type, not prone to passing out pearls of wisdom. Before I joined the club, I told him I had absolutely no idea what I would do once I became a father. He shrugged. “Nobody does at first,” he says, in a way providing advice to rival anything my friends, experts, how-to books, websites, videos or even AI could come up with.
Sure, first-time fathers should see, hear and read everything, preparing for parenting as if studying for a final — and hopefully some of the above advice will help. But the truth is, the only way to become a good dad is a lifetime of on-the-job training.
Happy Father Day.
